I am staying with my daughter , visiting, while I gather my things together to spend my winter in Mexico.
> Since she had moved from my neck of the woods.. To the south, this gives me some family time.
> While it used to be frequent short visits when we lived in the same area, now, it is one long visit twice a year.
> Apparently, I can and do easily stress my daughter out.
> Much as I try to fly under her radar screen, I cause these blips to occur on her screen in the control tower, and she feels the need to pay attention and because otherwise, I'll crash.
> My hearing is not that great these days. I consider hearing aids, then wonder: Why?
> While I can't understand what someone is mumbling at me in another room... Face to face, paying attention. I can hear just fine. Guess my practical mind is avoiding a few thousand dollars to hear mumbles in another room, when I can walk in and say What? For free!
> So this morning , in the midst of the kitchen breakfast school, work rush. My daughter appears all sleep frozzy and fuzzy robed... And starts putting together her sons lunch.
> She turns to me and says in a very loud clear and slowly spoken manner.
HOW DID YOU SLEEP MOM?
Fine. You?
GOOD ! I HAVE A MIGRAINE THOUGH.
Ohhhh that's gotta hurt; I am sorry. She asks her son DO YOU WANT TO DRIVE IN WITH US TO TAKE NONNIE TO THE AIRPORT?
Her husband and sons visibly lean away from the loudness. A short discussion ensues...
> I had already planned to be driven in by my son in law , in my car so I could smoke all the way to the airport. I mentioned this to my daughter. Now, I was busy re arranging my plan of action to accommodate everyone.
> She says, THERE ISNT A LOT OF TRAFFIC ON SATURDAY.
> I say yes, mentally, I am hearing you say that we are going to leave later than I want, in a rush and my anxiety level will be on high...
> Meanwhile, my grandson says: Why are you talking so loud?
She whispers next to his ear.
Because Nonie can 't hear well. Trying to spare my feelings, I assume. I hear every word.
> So, back to the car issue.
> I tell her I still,want to be at the airport a few hours before the flight.
> She says YOU DONT NEED TO SMOKE FOR 45MINUTES! CAN'T YOU DO THAT?
> Why, yes, I can , my concern is being at the airport in time.
> I find my voice getting louder and my speech slowing down, perhaps, someone else is being deaf..it was a natural reaction... I catch myself... Rein it in...
> Alright...
> We are now leaning on the counter chatting. When I bring up my hearing, she mentions that it seems I don't hear what she is saying, so perhaps LOUD and SLOWLY will make it better.
> She and I, although we both use the English language, do talk in a manner which neither of us comprehends.
> I point this out.. And, I can see from the look on her face; she almost wants to agree.
> She tries so hard. I feel bad. Tell her so. I do drive her crazy. She got blessed with a mother who doesn't fit in the peg board no matter which place she tries.
> I am reasonably comfortable with my shape. Mean no harm. And see the torture she goes through.
> Wishing we could both acknowledge the fact the the color blue is two or fourteen different colors in each of our minds, and not struggle with that.
~~Joy Olmstead
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