When Life hands you lemons . . .

A Crone Henge Guest post

by Ginger Simpson

When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!! Doesn't that look like something the pictured lady would say?

This has been quite a month. This year was supposed to start out on a better note, but so far, not much improvement over 2011. We started a trip to California by car, thinking we'd save money if we took our new Kia Rio. We got as far as Oklahoma and decided to come home. No bra in the world could support that rough ride. *lol* Of course, we had "tire" troubles that helped with the decision to discontinue our travels, but it was probably for the best.

We came home to find our basement leaked and our bedroom flooded. Not a bad flood, but enough to have to take up the carpeting and dry it, replace an entire wall, and, as soon as the ground dries, do some landscape improvements that will keep the water from seeping inside.

Of course, the cost of the short trip, the bedroom fiasco, and recovering from shell shock at seeing our W-2 forms for last year wasn't enough... I went to the eye doctor for new glasses, but discovered the new lenses that were inserted during my cataract surgery in December 2010 had formed a film over them. Oh joy, lucky me. So, after two visits for laser surgery, I'm good to go. Just waiting for the next bomb to drop.

Kelly (hubby) decided he wanted to retire, so now I'm stuck with him...literally, like a piece of gum on my shoe. I love him tons, but absence does make the heart grow fonder. Along with dealing with his presence every minute of the day and night, he thinks he doesn't need to wear his sleep apnea mask anymore, even though it was prescribed because of high blood pressure, fatigue, and snoring that wakes the dead. We recently found that he's been over-medicated, taking two beta blockers at once, which might be a factor in his being tired all the time. I don't really relish sleeping with someone who looks like Jacques Cousteau, but come on. If you need the mask, you need the mask. Who cares if it's worn off your mustache and kills my sex drive. *lol*

They have medications for everything now days. How did we ever survive this far? Things to wake you up, put you to sleep, make you pee, quit peeing, curb your appetite, increase your metabolism, check your sugar. Isn't medicine just amazing. Of course you have to watch out for the side affects written in small letters on the literature or speed-read through the commercials. Instead of restless legs you can end up with a gambling problem or driving while you sleep. Most drugs seem to take on some part of your body. If a disease doesn't kill you, your medicine might. I'm still trying to figure out why taking a medicine for penile dysfunction causes side-by-side tub bathing.

Okay, enough of the dismal stuff. The cartoon and the quote featured above makes me chuckle. If I could drink along with the medications I take, I might just follow the advice, but... dang!
I'm alcohol free these days. I remember the good old days of Bud Light and Country Line Dancing. Oh to go back and relive it again. My boogie could use a little boot-scootin' but I fear my tush is beyond pushin'.

Boy, am I glad I'm a romance author with a good imagination. Writing is my escape from days like these. I can be Scarlett O'Hara or Rhett Butler, and no one can tell I'm really a senior citizen with a bad attitude. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn! Love saying that.

If you'd like to sample my work, please visit my website, or either one of my blogs ...

Dishin it Out & Cowboy Kisses.

Ginger Simpson